Dangerous Love

Click here to listen to Dangerous Love.

“This love is getting kind of dangerous.” The song lyric really reached out and hit me in the face. Give a listen to the song White Horse by Chris Stapleton. There is an urgency and a passion in the music that is central to what I want to talk about today.

Three or four years ago, I got very sick. I lost a lot of what I cared about and had sacrificed for. And I was greatly humbled by being so weak and out of it. Thankfully, good friends stuck by me in almost unbelievable ways. And I had pulled through and returned to a normal and even happy life.

God told me, “Good, I can trust you more now because you're afraid of me in a good way.” The Bible wasn't fooling when it said, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” It turned out very well for me. God trusted me more and promoted me more and gave me a very happy living arrangement. Things went along smoothly for a year or two.

I found myself falling more and more in love with the father as I started to experience him in many new ways. He is the best. If I was made to spend the rest of my life telling people how good, fun, and delightful he is, I would be more than happy and satisfied. But as that love grew brighter, I started to notice that, by comparison, my love for Jesus was like an old, somewhat worn out marriage, not bad enough to leave, but not exciting or good enough to want to give it much effort.

As usual, the problem was me. Jesus hadn't gotten cold and distant. I had. I took a good look within and, like a little kid, I felt like he had not taken care of me during my illness, where I had suffered so much, even though he sent friends to help me in unbelievable ways. I was mad at him and had withdrawn myself, not completely, but enough to shut down much of my heart and soul to him.

I realized after two years or so that I really was at fault and was missing out on one of the most important and intense relationships I'd ever had. I decided to repent and start moving back to him bit by bit. It was slow, but it started to work, like a flooded engine sputtering to life.

I was talking to a friend one day about my early life around the age of 21, where I found a key that has really helped me come alive again. I have been becoming more and more fascinated with Christianity, and everywhere I turned, Jesus seemed to be there. I joined a Christian group. I was a hippie at the time. I cut my hair, started wearing a black suit with a collar and a cross so that people could see that I was available to help them.

I started getting up at 5:30 AM for prayers and communion, making my bed, just so taking orders, working at a straight job, then going out at night to help people and tell them about Jesus as well. And there were many people on the street at this time. It was San Francisco in the 1970s. I gave up sex and drugs and left my girlfriend behind. I got $7 a week spending money, and yet I was happy as a clam.

Had I joined a cult? Had I been hypnotized or drug? No, I had fallen into a dangerous love, head over heels in love with Jesus, not with just my mind, but with all of me.

Those of you who know me know that I'm not soft or easy to influence. One of my favorite words is no. My childhood had been difficult, with four different families, and I was on my own by the day I was 17. I had a job and was self-supporting and an apartment, and I was very popular with the other kids. I even finished high school. But God kept calling me to himself.

As I remembered that first intense love affair with Jesus, I wanted it again, and something started to pull me back. Things between us are so much better now. I smile when I think of his name. Enthusiasm and energy has reentered our relationship. I am falling again into a dangerous love with Jesus, and I'm loving it.

Can any of you relate to any part of this story? Ask yourself the question: have I ever had a dangerous love with Jesus? If not, do you want it now? If you lost it along the way, do you want that love to come back between the two of you? Are you willing to pursue it as something you really must have?